George W. Bush and Al Gore finally agreed to hold three presidential debates that will be hosted by a single moderator. Apparently, Al Gore wants the moderator to be Tom Brokaw, and George W. Bush wants it to be Pat Sajak.

Jack Nicholson and Lara Flynn Boyle have broken up. Apparently, Lara is so upset about the breakup she's almost gained a pound.

In a recent interview, one of the Backstreet Boys Kevin Richardson said, "Not only can the Backstreet Boys sing and dance, but we've also got a brain." Then he added, "I'm just not sure which one of us has it right now."

In a recent interview, Britney Spears admitted that she is going out with Justin Timberlake from N'Sync. Britney said that when she and Justin are together in a room they're so comfortable that they don't need to talk. Apparently, they both just sit there and stare at her boobs.

Tonight was the first presidential debate between Al Gore and George W. Bush. Apparently, after watching Gore and Bush for 90 minutes people were wishing "Big Brother" was still on the air.

The other day, president Clinton told reporters that he has no plans to write a book about Monica Lewinsky. However, the president did say he wants to play himself in a movie.

Over the weekend, Michael Douglas flew to Wales to meet Catherine Zeta-Jones' parents. He said that the parents were much more interested in meeting the new baby. The parents said, "We feel more comfortable with the baby because the baby is closer to us in age."

During the vice presidential debate last night, George W. Bush accused Al Gore of using phony numbers. It wasn't until after the debate that someone explained Bush that "billion" and "trillion" are actually real numbers.

Before the debate last night representatives for Al Gore and George W. Bush argued over how cold the auditorium should be for the debate. Apparently, Gore's people didn't want the room to be too warm 'cause then he starts to decompose.

The power went out last night at the Florida hotel that President Clinton was staying at. So he had to listen to part of the debate on a car radio. At least that's the story he told Hillary when she caught him in the backseat with a waitress.

It's been reported that George W. Bush is thinking about dumping Dick Cheney as his running mate and replacing him with John MacCain - that's the rumor. Meanwhile, Dick Cheney is thinking about dumping George W. and replacing him with Martin Sheen.

Today is NRA president Charlton Heston's 76th birthday. You can tell he's kind of getting old 'cause this morning he made a rambling speech about the government trying to take away his "gums".

During the vice presidential debate last night, both candidates Joe Lieberman and Dick Cheney went way out of their way not to alienate gay voters. In fact, for most of the debate the two of them were holding hand.

It was reported today that next month CBS is going to air a mini series about O.J. Simpson. Apparently, CBS is going to put O.J. in a house with eight people and see who comes out.

In a recent interview in the New Yorker, President Clinton actually said that being acquitted in his impeach trial was one of the highlights of his administration. The president went on to say, "Of course, that was a direct result of the real highlights of my administration."

George W. Bush recently taped a brief interview with Nickelodeon. Apparently, it was supposed to be a longer interview but the kids' questions were way too hard.

This week the Jerry Springer Show is celebrating its 10th anniversary. Which means that the teenagers that were on his first show are probably grandparents by now.

The WB Network announced that Britney Spears will appear on an upcoming episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". Apparently, in the episode Britney gets bitten by a vampire, and her chest deflates.

Last night, Al Gore and George W. Bush held their second debate and most polls said that George W. came across better than Gore. Afterwards, Bush even said, "I've done good. I be president now."

George W. Bush was fighting a cold during the presidential debate last night. Afterwards, George W. was quoted as saying, "I haven't sniffed that much since college."

The other day in Los Angels, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones were spotted on a golf course with their 8-week old baby. Apparently, a lot of golfers complained 'cause the baby kept crying and Michael Douglas kept yelling, "I'm nailing Catherine Zeta-Jones."

According to a brand-new study that just came out, having regular vigorous sex can make you look seven years younger. In a related story, today is President Clinton's 90th birthday.

Mayor Giuliani says that he's gonna root for the Yankees. Meanwhile when Hillary Clinton was asked the same question she said, "I don't know. Which team is from New York?"

The Mets fans have been bragging that they have a mascot but the Yankees do not. To compete with the Mets' mascot, "Mr. Met", the Yankees are now adding their own mascot called "Mr. What Are You Looking At?"

According to today's New York Times George W. Bush's body language during the debate last night revealed that he does not like Al Gore at all. Meanwhile, Al Gore's body language revealed that rigor mortis has set in.

Al Gore descried his debate performance as being like Goldilocks and the Three Bears because he says that the first one was too hot, the second debate was too cold, and the third was just right. After hearing this George W. Bush said, "Finally, a literary reference I get. "

People are very excited about the subway series which of course is between the Yankees and the Mets, and it starts this weekend. And the big news is a lot of politicians are making their predictions about what's gonna happen. Apparently, New York mayor Rudy Giuliani has picked the Yankees in seven, and George W. Bush predicted the Mets in eight.

Yesterday, an astronaut onboard the space shuttle spent several hours fixing a clogged toilet. The weird thing is even though he was wearing the space suit you could still see his butt crack.

The other day John Travolta announced that he wants to make a sequel to Battlefield Earth. Not only that, Jimmy Carter announced he wants to make a sequel to the Iran hostage crisis.

In California four women held a topless prayer vigil to protest clear-cut logging of giant redwoods. One lumberjack is reported that as soon as the topless vigil started he immediately discovered even more giant wood.

Today, New York mayor Rudy Giuliani hold a joint pep rally for both Yankee and Mets fans. The official death toll will be released tomorrow.

Because the Mets and Yankees don't have to travel to another city for the World Series they are saving about 200,000 dollars each. Which in stadium dollar it amounts to 2 hotdogs and 4 beers.

Al Gore appears on the cover of this month Rolling Stone, and it's been a big controversy. It's been reported that they had to airbrush his crotch region because it looked like he had an erection. Gore says it's all part of his promise to work "hard" for the American people.

Yesterday on Live with Regis - I guess he grew up on a farm or something - Al Gore showed Regis how to hypnotize chicken. Today, George W. Bush showed Regis how to electrocute a chicken.

Al Gore announced today that President Clinton is going to start campaigning for him. However, to calm voters Gore said, "Don't worry, I'm going to put his penis in a locked box."