Republican leaders say if things go there way they're hoping Al Gore will make a concession speech tonight. Which is really historic - it marks the first time anyone's ever wanted Al Gore to make a speech.

According to a famous astrologer in Washington D.C. the next President of the United States will be Al Gore. Originally, the astrologer said George W. Bush, but Gore demanded she recount her tarot cards.

The President Clinton is in Ireland right now. In earlier today, President Clinton and the Prime Minister of Ireland stopped in a pub for a couple of beers. Apparently, President Clinton had a few too many because he was overheard telling him "You know, buddy, you're starting to look good to me".

In his speech Al Gore said that he had no idea what he is gonna do now. Not surprisingly, during his speech George W. Bush said the same thing.

Earlier today, the secret service announced that President elect George W. Bush's new code name is "Tumbler". Not only that, they announced that Dick Chaney's new code neme "Quick, call 911!".

Today, George W. Bush said that he is looking forward to working with Senator Hillary Clinton. Fortunately, Hillary's used to being lied to by the President.

In his speech last night Al Gore said that he called George W. Bush to concede and this time Gore didn't call back. Gore admitted he did, however, drive by Bush's house and throw a brick through the window.

The secret service announced yesterday that George W. Bush's new code name is "Tumbler". The secret service said they had to use tumbler for George W. Bush because "Bumbler" had already been taken by Dan Quayle.

Yesterday at a church service attended by George W. Bush, the minister speaking compared George W. to Moses. Not because George W. has been chosen the leader of his people, but because, like Moses, he was lost for 40 years.

After his concession speech this week Al Gore threw a wild party and he hung out until 3 in the morning with guests like Tom Petty and John Bon Jovi. Apparently, Gore had Petty and Bon Jovi there because he likes to party like it's 1989.

This week reporters asked President Clinton what he plans are for after he leaves office and Clinton said, "I want to do something dear to my heart that I'm passionate about". In other words, he wants to do Alyssa Milano.

Earlier today, George W. Bush met with President Clinton at the White House and they had lunch together. Bush said that he'd eaten at the White House when his dad was president, but this was the first time he got to sit at the grown-ups table.

According to a new poll, a majority of Americans think that Al Gore will win if he faces against George W. Bush in the 2004 election. Of course, they don't think Gore will become president, they just think he'll win.

So many people are travelling to the tiny town in Scotland where Madonna is getting married that the mayor says that they expect to make over 2 million dollars in tourist revenue. In fact, the wedding is making so much money for the town they asked Madonna to have her next several weddings there also.

Earlier today, in preparation for actually becoming president, George W. Bush formally resigned as Governor of Texas. The people of Texas thank Bush for his service and as a going-away present they let him execute 15 people.

George W. Bush will probably select New Jersey Governor Christine Todd Whitman to head the Environmental Protection Agency. Governor Whitman said if she gets the job to protect the environment the first thing she will do is close down New Jersey.

It's been reported that Madonna has decided not to sell her wedding photos to the media because she thinks it would be "vulgar". However, Madonna did say she's planning on selling photos of her wedding night.

The State of Hawaii has announced that certain patients will be allowed to posses up to 3 ounces of medical marijuana and they'll be allowed to grow their own pot plants. In a related story, the Max Weinberg 7 has just announced to move to Hawaii.

It was reported today that Madonna and her brand-new husband Guy Ritchie have already had their first fight. Basically on the first day of their honeymoon he wanted to go sightseeing and she wanted to start seeing other people.

Justin Timberlake of *NSYNC is being sued by a 15-year old fan who claims he subjected her to verbal abuse. Apparently, she is suing him for verbal abuse because at his last concert he sung two encores.

According to a brand-new survey, the average man cannot perform sexually after he's had 4 drinks. Not only that, the average man cannot perform sexually unless the woman he's with has had 8 drinks.

President Clinton and senator-elect Hillary Clinton have been house-hunting lately in Washington D.C. - they're looking for a new home because they get kicked out of the White House in just a couple of weeks. When asked about it, the President said, "We're just looking for a modest home with a nice yard and a Jacuzzi that seats 12.

The president-elect George W. Bush picked his Secretary of Defense. It's Donald Rumsfeld - he was the defense secretary more than 20 years ago for President Ford. When asked about his appointment, Rumsfeld said, "You know, I'm excited to have my old job back and am looking forward to withdrawing our troops from Vietnam".

Starting today, a new online school will be available on the Internet. This online school will allow kids to download courses in trigonometry, advance biology, and Alyssa Milano.

The other day in Indiana, someone dropped off cookies laced with marijuana at a fire house, and this is true, the fire men got so stoned they weren't able to work. Apparently, the firemen went to a fire and he said, "We can't put that out. The colors are way too beautiful".