TUE
Yahoo.com has apparently started posting a security message on its website that warns Internet users to "never
assume people on-line are who they say they are." That's right -- for instance, Yahoo says that most people
on-line claiming to be 18 year old girls are actually president Clinton.

Apparently, the new high-tech Star Wars toys are coming out within a matter of weeks. They are gonna be the
stores any day now, and I was reading about these toys that toys can talk and are interactive; so they can be
easily distinguished from Star Wars fans.

Pamela Anderson Lee, of course, is in the news. Everyone's talking about this. This story is kind of complicated.
First, as you know, reports came out that Pamela Anderson Lee had her breasts implants removed, then
yesterday it was reported that she had the implants replaced with smaller ones. And now today, Pamela claims
both reports are false, and that she just had her implants rotated.

WED
Last night in an interview with Connie Chung, Calista Flockhart, everyone knows her, she said that she has lost
4 pounds working out, and that now she's in the best shape of her life. She lost 4 pounds! That's right, Flockhart
said "I can run the 100 yard dash under 10 seconds if there's a good wind.

Rolling Stones announced that they've changed their minds, and they will not, I repeat they will not do a concert
at Madison Square Garden this new year's eve. Apparently, Stones are worried 'cause their pacemakers aren't
Y2K compatible.

The other day in Florida, a 78 year old man was arrested after he robbed a bank and led police on a car chase.
Actually, it wasn't really a car chase, it was more like a long slow left turn. (in old man's voice) "Try and catch
me!"

THU
A brand-new book is coming out and it claims that Al Gore smoked a lot of pot in collage. True story.
Apparently, you could tell when Gore is really high because his stand motion let stare straight ahead and
speaking go monotone.

It was reported today that Michael Jackson's kids also wear masks when they go out in public. Yeah, not because
of germs but because their father is Michael Jackson.

The Today Show canceled a scheduled interview with Calista Flockhart because she said she did not want to talk
about her weight. Flockhart said, instead, she wanted to talk about rice cakes.

Pamela Lee said that since she had surgery to remove her implants, her breasts feel "like they're on fire." That's
what she said. Yeah, which is real coincident because Pamela's old breast implants are now being used to cushion
people jumping out of burning buildings.

FRI
The first lady was in New York, and for a reason, I don't know if you're aware of this--but yesterday, Hirary
Clinton was principle for a day at a New York city middle school. Apparently, the kids loved it 'cause they could
all fool around and she had no idea anything was going wrong.

Martha Stewart is in the news. It was reported today that Martha Stewart has contributed a lot of money to Al
Gore's campaign. Not only that, she has also given Gore tips on  how to bring out his rich mahogany finish.

This is a weird story but I swear to god I did not make this up; It was in the newspaper. In Ohio, a funeral home
worker is in big trouble because he left a body in the back of hearse while he hang out in a topless bar. Yeah, but
that weren't bad enough because on his way home, he propped the body up in the front seat so he could use the
carpooling. Which I myself have done...

It was reported this week that Pamela Anderson Lee is getting back together with rocker Tommy Lee. They are
gonna reunited--yeah, which I think is real shame because most men were hoping Pamela would get back
together with her implants.