TUE
"Several republicans chose not to attend the State of the Union address because they thought it would be hypocritical to applaud Clinton. So instead, they spent a quite night at home with their mistresses."

"Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall are going separate ways, apparently he was cheating on her. Reportedly, this is the wired part, Mick Jagger is now claiming that he was never married to Jarry Hall because the wedding on the island of Bali wasn't legal. Not only that but the experts say Keith Richard's marriage may not be legal because he's been dead for ten years."
 

WED
"Who saw or hear of yesterday's State Union address? Pretty odd. I thought for the most part pretty routine, but there was something very strange. At one point during the speech, president Clinton looked up at Hirary and he mouth the words 'I love you.' Which is fine but then he did the same thing to four other women."

"Monica Lewinsky is in the news. The Other day at an airport Monica Lewinsky apparently told a fan that she doesn't give autographs because she is famous for the wrong reasons. Although Monica did offer to give the fan oral sex."

"Cindy Crawford is in the news. Yesterday Cindy Crawford and her husband announced that they are expecting a baby. The father said he doesn't care if it's a boy or girl he is just happy he gets to have sex with Cindy Crawford."

"According to a recent statistics, Americans use two hundred billion kleenex a year. That number would be a lot higher but technically George Michael was British."