The Third Week of November

WED
In the paper, according to a poll in today's New York Post, president Clinton was chosen the second most evil person this millennium and Hirary
was chosen the sixth most evil. After hearing about it, president Clinton was outraged and said "That's ridiculous. She should be second, I should
be sixth!"

According to a new report, a national report, America's large cities need better teachers. I think this could be true because the report concludes
"The teachers teach no good."

The game show "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" has been so amazingly successful that ABC is going to extend the show another week. Now
other ABC shows are jumping on the band wagon: for example "Spin City" will now be called "Who Wants To Nail Heather Locklear?"
 
 

 
THU 
According to a brand new poll in USA Today, senator John MaCane is now the leading Republican candidate in the New Hampshire primary. After
hearing about it, George W. Bush put up a very brave front saying "You know, if this doesn't work out I can always turn back to drugs and
alcohol."

The other night Janet Jackson called the police and reported that four men have been haunting her. And Jackson told them the men's name are
Jermaine, Tito, Randy, and Jackie.
 

It turns out that the person who has been collaborating with Hirary Clinton on a new book about the White House has also written a book about
sexually transmitted disease. The strange thing is that the research for that book was also done at the White House.
 

FRI
Earlier tonight, the million dollar Jackpot on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" was won for the first time by a guy who works for IRS. Oddly
enough the guy won the million dollars, right after asking Regis "Who wants to be audited?"

The prime minister of Britain, Tony Blair announced that his wife is four month pregnant. After hearing the news, president Clinton sent along his
congratulations and an alibi.

This week in Tampa, Florida, hundreds of exotic dancers flooded a city council meeting to protest a ban on nude lapdances. They reached an odd
compromise: lapdances are still illegal but now they are allowed to sit city council meetings.