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The Third Week of June

TUE
Yesterday in New York city, a man died of natural causes on the subway and rode around for five hours before anybody noticed. Afterwards, commuters said they didn't try to help because they thought it was just Al Gore campaigning.

New York Nicks is going to go up against--they will challenge the San Antonio Spurs. The other day, mayor Giuliani called the mayor of San Antonio, Texas and they made a little wager on the outcome of the NBA final. Then, mayor Giuliani had the San Antonio mayor arrested for illegal gambling.

Disney World announced they are going to build a new roller coaster that's based on the band Aerosmith. Apparently, it's the longest roller coaster ever made because right in the middle of it you have to spend a few years in rehab.

WED
Al Gore formally launched his presidential campaign yesterday, and experts say that he is trying to distant
himself from president Clinton. In fact today, Gore came out against three-somes.

We have been talking about the story for like two days. It's still a big thing here in New York city. The other day, a
man died on the New York subway, and his body rode around for five hours before anybody noticed. Here's an
update: everything is fine now but the mafia officials were notified and they were able to put the body in the East
River where it belongs.

According to a brand-new study, kissing may boost the immune system and help you live longer. That's right.
That's why everytime I go to the doctor, I ask him to slip me the tongue.

A former mob star is claiming that the government tried to catch him by placing a electronic recording device in
his butt. The mob star also claims he didn't whack anyone on December 7; he just had really bad gas.

THU
Sunday, if you don't know, is Father's Day. Interesting news--this weekend president Clinton will deliver a
special Father's Day address over the radio. The president is going to start off by saying "I don't care what your
mothers told you, I'm not your dad!"

Speaking of politics, Al Gore is officially in the race. Yesterday, vice president Al Gore spent the day
campaigning in New Hampshire. Today, the residents of New Hampshire said that they still feel a little bit
groggy.

Another political news: the New York senate race is heating up and Hirary Clinton is trying to combat criticism
that she is not a local resident by planning a 2-week campaign trip to upstate New York. Hirary said she is
especially looking forward to visiting the cities of Pittsburgh and Boston.

Earlier tonight, Brittany Spears appeared on an ABC special in a dress so see-through that show had to be
re-edited. The dress was incredibly revealing, apparently you could see both of her breasts and her plastic
surgeon.



 
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