TUE
Hirary Clinton is campaigning in New York; she's all over the place--every
day you pick up a newspaper there's
picture of her in some different part of New York. Having her picture
taken with some lifeguards on a beach
yesterday, Hirary Clinton was quoted as saying "I feel like I'm on
Bay Watch." After hearing this, president
Clinton said "Does she have to ruin everything I love?"
Yesterday, before a congressional committee, a spokesperson for the
drug foundation argued that marijuana does
not lead to harder drugs. However, the spokesperson admitted that marijuana
does lead to Woody Harrelson's
house.
According to a United Nations' report on quality of life, Canada is
now a better place to live than United States.
The report said that the deciding factor was not that Canada has less
pollution or better health care but the fact
that we have Celine Dion now.
The same plastic surgeon who did Paula Jones' nose job is being sued
by a woman who claimed that he pulled out
his penis and demanded oral sex. In response to the law suit, the plastic
surgeon said "That wasn't my penis. It
was Paula Jones old nose."
WED
New York is going to spend 200 million dollars to install electric
message signs on all the cities' major highways.
Apparently, the signs will tell drivers when to slow down and when
to give the finger.
It was reported today that Mick Jagger and his new ex-wife Jerry Hall
are on vacation together in France. When
asked about it, Jagger said that next week they are going to have the
vacation annulled.
I got a news about Tommy Lee--I call him a rocker Tommy Lee--and Pamela
Lee... Earlier today in Los Angels,
rocker Tommy Lee and Pamela Lee went before a judge to have the terms
of his probation reduced. Pamela told
the judge "You know, the part about Tommy not crossing the state line
is especially difficult when he gets an
erection."