TUE
Over the weekend in suburban New York, the president and Hirary Clinton
went house-hunting. Reportedly, she
really wants a formal living room and he really wants a backstair case
that doesn't creek.
Over the weekend in New York, the Dalai Lama granted an audience to
Michael Jackson. Afterwards Michael said
he was a little disappointed that he is not a real Lama.
In Pennsylvania, a couple that wanted help paying for their wedding
decided to sell advertising that appeared on
their invitations and at the ceremony. Not only that, instead of saying
"I do" the bride said "Did somebody said
MacDonald?"
WED
Earlier today, George W. Bush said that he hasn't done any illegal
drugs since 1974. Bush said he's sure the
date because he is absolutely no recollection of 1973.
According to a brand-new survey in Bride magazine, one of the most unusual
places a new couple makes love is
on top of a washing machine. They also said the most common complaint
by brides is that their husbands never
make it as far as the spin cycle.
In a recent interview, the reverend Jerry Falwell said that he decided
to tone down his anti-gay message. I think
he means it because when he made the statement he was wearing halter-top
and heels.
Today is president Clinton's birthday. The president said I got a lot
of birthday kisses but none where I wanted
them.
FRI
Reporters have been questioning George W. Bush's drug history.
Since questions about George W. Bush's
cocaine habit has surfaced poll show his lead has slipped from 47%
to 40%. Apparently, Bush misinterpreted the
poll because he said "Does that mean it's not as pure?"
President and the first lady are on vacation, and while on vacation
president Clinton had a long telephone call
with the prime minister of Israel. And the president was overheard
saying "Ancient grudges should be put aside
but enough about Hirary and me."