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The second week of December

"Last night at White House, president Clinton threw a Christmas party for all five hundred and thirty five members of congress.During the festivity several congress men told the president 'this is great. Now we don't have to have a going away party'"

"Hirary Clinton attended a movie premiere, and she said that she hasn't been in a movie theater for years. Meanwhile the president Clinton said he hasn't been in a movie theater since they cleaned up Times Square."

"Dennis Rodman filed for an annulment from Carmen Electra only nine days after he got married. But now he says he hopes the marriage works out. In fact he said that someday down the road he wants to get really drunk and marry her all over again. "

"Yesterday, president Clinton's defense team rested after a ten-hour session. When asked comment, Monica Lewinsky said 'that's weird the president used to rest after a ten-minute session.'"

"Today in California, a logging protester is celebrating his one year anniversary of living in a giant redwood tree. The man said the first it was hard but then they opened a Starbucks in the tree next to him."

"A woman is suing Macdonalds claiming she found a condom in her chicken sandwich. True story! A spokesman from Macdonalds said 'that's just our new sandwich the Macribbed.'"
 
"After hours of deliberating, the House judicial committee took their first vote. And the result was 21 to 16 in favor of pepperoni with extra cheese. At last something they can bring us together."

"With Impeachment looming president Clinton made a big speech to the American people a few minutes after four o'clock this afternoon. And the president may not have helped his own cause because he opened the speech by saying 'sorry I was late but I was getting some'"

"During his speech to the American people, the president admitted to being deceitful. And the president went on to say 'just now when I said I was deceitful, I was lying.'"


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