The First Week of November
TUE
During the recent campaign stop, George W. Bush, the republican
frontrunner, said that he loves his family more than anything and
that he has two 17-year-old twin wonderful daughter.Immediaterly
afterwards, Bush was endorsed by president Clinton.
In a recent interview, Pamera Lee said that her husband, Tommy
Lee, is a lot calmer these days because he is taking anger
management classes. Apparently, the teacher calms Tommy Lee down
by remainding him that he has a huge penis and is married to
Pamera Lee.
WED
The game show "Who Wants to be a Millionare" just
announced that they need to find more female contestants for the
show. Apparently, most women who want to be millionares just
married and divorced Donald Trump.
According to an Internet survey, girls said that their favorite
toy of the 20th century was the Barbie doll. Meanwhile, boys said
that their favorite toy of the century was themselves.
THU
The actor Danny Glover has filed a complaint againt the city of
New York claiming that New York cab drivers refuse to pick him up
because he's black. Glover said it's either that or they saw
"Lethal Weapon 3."
Its been reported that president Clinton cannot move into his New
York house because there are still a lot of security work to be
done on the house. Clinton said he'll move in as soon as the
secret service installed servailance cameras in the neighbors
bedrooms.
FRI
When questioned by a reporter yesterday George W. Bush was unable
to name the leaders of Chechnya, India, or Pakistan. Even worse,
George W. referred to the Prime Minister of Japan as that guy my
dad threw up on.
In Westchester, New York, No Parking signs are being put up on
the street where President Clinton just bought a house. A
spokesman for the town said we're not afraid of tourists we're
afraid Clinton might use the street as a make-out spot.
Thousands of couples all across the world are planning to get
married at the stroke of midnight this new years eve. And guys
really like this idea because if they can't perform on their
wedding night they can blame it on Y2K.