It's miserable outside: Today was the hottest day of the year in New York. The heat index reached 105 degrees in Central Park. So you folks in the studio audience, look at it this way: Even if the show sucks, you still get free air-conditioning.

President Bush is taking a working-vacation at his ranch in Texas and he said he hopes to spend most of his time jogging, golfing, and fishing. Then president said he'll be back in Washington in September where he plans to spend most of his time jogging, golfing, and fishing.

It was reported today that Elizabeth Doll is considering running for the Senate. When asked about it Mrs. Doll said, "Anything to get away from husband and his little blue pills".

Fidel Castro celebrated his 75th birthday. You can tell that he's getting old because he's thinking of retiring and moving to Florida.

Miss America pageant is considering adding an academic competition where contestants have to answer multiple choice questions about history. Which means it may actually be harder to become Miss America than it is to become the President of the United States.

Iraqi national theater is preparing to turn a novel about Saddam Hussein into a big budget musical. Saddam may have legal trouble though because the name of the play is Damn Yankees.

President Bush, still on vacation - it's apparently a 9 month vacation. Yesterday while President Bush was visiting Colorado he went on a hike through Rocky Mountain Park at an altitude of 8,000 feet. Apparently, the President hasn't been that high since college.

Cuban president Fidel Castro celebrated 75th birthday this week and he had a giant part that included Elian Gonzales. Apparently, the party went really well until Elian stole the cake and tried to sell it to Miami.

It's been reported that next month at Michael Jackson's Madison Square Garden concert Ricky Martin is gonna team up with Michael on 'Don't Stop Till you Get Enough'. And they'll sing together too.

It's been announced that chess will be accepted as an Olympic sport in the 2006 games. The other Olympic athletes are excited that the chess players are joining them and say they're looking forward to giving them wedgies and taking their lunch money.

Marilyn Manson was charged with criminal sexual conduct for assaulting a male security guard. The guard is ok but he says Manson is the ugliest bro' he's ever seen.

In North Dakota, doctors removed a man's testicles only to find out later that the procedure wasn't necessary. The man thought about suing but decided not to because he doesn't have the balls.