Yesterday, China demanded an apology from
the United States for the collision between
two countries' airplanes. In response President
Bush said, "Why should we? They never
apologized for Pearl Harbor".
The big rumor right now is that NBC is going
to cancel the XFL as soon as the season is
over. You laugh and stuff but this news comes
as a blow to XFL fans, both of whom are very
upset.
The New York Time has announced that for
the first time in its history it will begin
carry personal ads. Apparently, the first
personal ad that will appear is placed by
a single white ex-president.
LifeStyles Condoms did a survey to find out
the average length of a penis, and their
researchers had to measure more than 300
erect penises. Apparently, it was the biggest
collection of penises since Siegfried &
Roy's bachelor party.
Yesterday, China, once again, demanded an
apology from the United States over the spy
plane incident. In response President Bush
said, "Sorry, but the word 'apology',
like most words, is not in my vocabulary".
This week the Dallas Mavericks made basketball
history by signing the first player born
in China, and apparently the guy is 7'1''.
Unfortunately he was quickly kicked out of
the league because they found out he was
actually one Chinese guy standing on another
Chinese guy.
They're making a new Planet of the Apes movie.
And reportedly, they had to edit out a sex
scene between a man and a chimp. However,
the scene will appear on the upcoming film:
The Michael Jackson Story.
A couple in Corpus Christi, Texas had named
their son "ESPN" after the sports
channel. Apparently, the parents said the
boy is ok with his name, but he's very jealous
of his baby brother "ESPN2".
An Australian rugby player was recently suspended
because he used his finger to poke several
of his opponents' in the anus. Apparently,
rugby official said this kind of behavior
is only acceptable in male figure skating.
Florida Governor Jeb Bush asked President
Bush to stop the sale of oil off the coast
of Florida, but the president turned his
brother down. In a related story, Jeb Bush
just announced that Al Gore won the State
of Florida.
It was reported today that Ricky Martin will
star in a musical version of Zorro. In this
version Zorro will keep his identity and
his sexual orientation a secret.
Yesterday, for the first time in his administration,
President George W. Bush appointed an openly
gay man. The president was quoted as saying,
"I respect the man for not hiding his
'gayosity'".
According to Wall Street Journal, due to
oversaturation 8 GAP stores will be forced
to close in Manhattan. At first it seemed
like good news but it turns out that they
are turning all 8 GAP stores into StarBucks.
Last night, a maitre d' at an exclusive restaurant
in New York received a 16,000 dollar tip
from a Wall Street customer. Unfortunately,
this morning the tip was only valued at 4,000
dollars.
This week in Brazil, a soccer player got
in a lot of trouble because during a game
he celebrated scoring a goal by taking off
all of his cloths. Official said it's bad
enough that the player was nude but then
he violated soccer rules by using his hands.